- Clarksonisms

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When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

Motor from a food blender?

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

Motorized pepper grinder?

Flying fish wasabi?

I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

Don't do that, tortoise!

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

Clarksonisms

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