- Clarksonisms

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On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

... And across the line!

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

Clarksonisms

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