Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

Some Poos Come Out

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

we wait with anticipation

It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

Claire chris paul steve & dave

...In the world.

Ferrari 599 GTB Fiorano "There, right in the middle of everything, is a quartic steering wheel. Yup, quartic, as in square, as in Austin Allegro. And worse still, it’s half carbon fibre and half leather, and it’s got all sorts of Formula One-style buttons on the bottom and then, along the top, a series of red lights that come on to tell you when to change gear. Unfortunately they are so bright you think you’ve been caught in the fearsome glare from a Martian spaceship. "So you don’t change gear. You crash."

Whatsapp Status

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.