Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

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Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill, and then run over him again, for good measure. They're designed to melt ice-caps, kill the poor, poison the water table, destroy the ozone layer, decimate indigenous wildlife, recapture the Falkland Islands, and turn the entire Third World into a huge uninhabitable desert... but only after they've nicked all the world's oil.

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we wait with anticipation

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On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

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Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

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Announcing the Top Gear Awards in December 2005] “Now the best gas guzzler of the year. And the nominations are: the Range Rover Sport which achieved eight miles to the gallon; the Bugatti Veyron which achieved four miles to the gallon; and Hemel Hempstead. That actually used up 60 million gallons of fuel and didn’t move an inch.

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I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

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I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

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While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

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Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

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Hold on to your spleens everyone!

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Some Poos Come Out

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You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

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In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

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The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

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I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

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[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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