The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

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car goes fast

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I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

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On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

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It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

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Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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On the TVR Tuscan 2 “You see, my wife loves this car. She loves the noise and the vibrations and the sense of danger and the way that when you over-rev it, the whole dash lights up like a baboon’s backside. Richard Hammond on the other hand, he pretty much hates it. He says it’s too difficult and too complicated and that all the stitching in here looks like the kind of stitching you find when someone’s tried to mend their own shoes.

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On the Vauxhall Astra VXR No, listen, listen, listen, you won't be at the party if you drive one of these because you'll have torque-steered into a tree on the way. And you'd be killed, and that's important to die in an anecdote...your children will say "daddy died in a fireball in a Vauxhall and a tree!"

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

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Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

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Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

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the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

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Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

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Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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