What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

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(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

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Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

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On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

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3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

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I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

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Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

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Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

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There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

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On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

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Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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Killing a mamooth

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Don't do that, tortoise!

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"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" *Audience laughs* "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" *audience gasps then applauds*

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we wait with anticipation

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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It stands out like

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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