- Clarksonisms

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This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

POWER!!!!!!!!!!

This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

Frederik Du lugter

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

Clarksonisms

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