- Clarksonisms

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

This is the greatest car ... In the world

This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

car goes fast

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

M3 drivers have no friends.

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

herro am spoderman

Clarksonisms

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