- Clarksonisms

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On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

Clarksonisms

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