- Clarksonisms

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tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

It's like sitting on Dawn French!

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

Clarksonisms

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