On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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Clarkson on Chrysler Crossfire- I have been trying to think -what it is that this shape reminds me of and last night it came to me- you know when a dog....doing its....aahh...number II, that kind of arched back thing .....thats what it is(with hand gestures and disgusted expression).....HIDEOUS!.....EWWWW!!

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Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

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The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

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tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

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[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

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On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

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(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

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I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

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What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

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Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

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3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

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great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

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Motor from a food blender?

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'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

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On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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