- Clarksonisms

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[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" *Audience laughs* "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" *audience gasps then applauds*

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

Clarksonisms

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"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" Audience laughs "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" audience gasps then applauds