[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

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On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

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The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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herro am spoderman

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Don't do that, tortoise!

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

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"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

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You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

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On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

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On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

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Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

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3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

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It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

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Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

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Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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