- Clarksonisms

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While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

Deal with it

It stands out like

The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

Clarksonisms

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