- Clarksonisms

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This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

M3 drivers have no friends.

I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

How hard can it be?

Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

Clarksonisms

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