- Clarksonisms

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In the WOOORLD...

How hard can it be?

On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

Speed saves people!

on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

Clarksonisms

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