"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

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Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

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On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

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Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

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The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

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Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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Killing a mamooth

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3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

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Some Poos Come Out

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Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

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On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

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[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

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[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

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Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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Deal with it

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

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Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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