Horse Head Huffer Network
Check out our iPhone app!
  • Twitter
  • Rss

Clarksonisms

 

Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

  • Thumb-up
  • Thumb-down
  • +835
3 Comments
 

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

  • Thumb-up
  • Thumb-down
  • +363
5 Comments
 

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

  • Thumb-up
  • Thumb-down
  • +312
4 Comments
 

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

  • Thumb-up
  • Thumb-down
  • +245
10 Comments
 

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

  • Thumb-up
  • Thumb-down
  • +228
0 Comments
 

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

  • Thumb-up
  • Thumb-down
  • +197
2 Comments
 

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

  • Thumb-up
  • Thumb-down
  • +191
2 Comments
 

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

  • Thumb-up
  • Thumb-down
  • +189
1 Comment
 

On the Mercedes CLS55:

Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

  • Thumb-up
  • Thumb-down
  • +179
1 Comment
 

This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

  • Thumb-up
  • Thumb-down
  • +159
1 Comment
 

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

  • Thumb-up
  • Thumb-down
  • +156
0 Comments
 

On the Enzo Ferrari

"I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

  • Thumb-up
  • Thumb-down
  • +140
1 Comment
 

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson’s quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts…

When you’re done here, check out our car fail site!

Download Our Free App!

Hay guise, our iPhone app was just approved!

available on the app store!

Pictures From Our Other Sites

Quotes From Other Sites

  • “Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you..”

    via: Anti-Pickup Line

  • “hair removal cream for bald people.”

    via: Pointless Inventions

  • “the power to make coffee room temperature by touching it.”

    via: Pointless Super Powers

  • “While listening to music, I imagine an insanely huge dance number to go along with it..”

    via: Things You Think Only You Do

    • ©2008-2011 Clarksonisms. All rights reserved.
    A Horse Head Huffer Production.

    Horse Head Huffer

    Rails Hosting provided by BlueBox