poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

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Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

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herro am spoderman

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we wait with anticipation

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On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

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[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

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[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

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On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

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Speed saves people!

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[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

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what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

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-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

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Clarkson on Chrysler Crossfire- I have been trying to think -what it is that this shape reminds me of and last night it came to me- you know when a dog....doing its....aahh...number II, that kind of arched back thing .....thats what it is(with hand gestures and disgusted expression).....HIDEOUS!.....EWWWW!!

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[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

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Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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Announcing the Top Gear Awards in December 2005] “Now the best gas guzzler of the year. And the nominations are: the Range Rover Sport which achieved eight miles to the gallon; the Bugatti Veyron which achieved four miles to the gallon; and Hemel Hempstead. That actually used up 60 million gallons of fuel and didn’t move an inch.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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