On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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Whatsapp Status

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As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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On the TVR Tuscan 2 “You see, my wife loves this car. She loves the noise and the vibrations and the sense of danger and the way that when you over-rev it, the whole dash lights up like a baboon’s backside. Richard Hammond on the other hand, he pretty much hates it. He says it’s too difficult and too complicated and that all the stitching in here looks like the kind of stitching you find when someone’s tried to mend their own shoes.

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It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

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the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

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On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

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Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

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Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

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Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

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Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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When driving the Mercedes SLR McLaren through a tunnel “When they debate as to what the sound of the SLR engine was akin to, the British engineers from McLaren said it sounded like a Spitfire. But the German engineers from Mercedes said ‘Nein! Nein! Sounds like a Messerschmitt!’ They were both wrong. It sounds like the God of Thunder, gargling with nails.

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This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

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People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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