It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

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It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

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Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

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I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

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[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

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Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

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Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

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I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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Ferrari 599 GTB Fiorano "There, right in the middle of everything, is a quartic steering wheel. Yup, quartic, as in square, as in Austin Allegro. And worse still, it’s half carbon fibre and half leather, and it’s got all sorts of Formula One-style buttons on the bottom and then, along the top, a series of red lights that come on to tell you when to change gear. Unfortunately they are so bright you think you’ve been caught in the fearsome glare from a Martian spaceship. "So you don’t change gear. You crash."

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

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Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

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(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

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Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

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This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

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Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

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This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

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What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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