- Clarksonisms

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Das Stig is a manaic!

On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

On a Chevrolet Corvette "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

herro am spoderman

...In the world.

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

This is winnie the pooh with road rage

Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

Clarksonisms

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