- Clarksonisms

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

"How do I tell James to slow down?"

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

Das Stig is a manaic!

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

...In the world.

The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

Claire chris paul steve & dave

On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

Clarksonisms

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