- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.

It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

Clarksonisms

Our Updated iOS App!