- Clarksonisms

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On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

ze5zege ef ege gg

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

Clarksonisms

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