what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

Speed is the solution to everything, not that I have ever done it, I mean I love speed but, not the other thing, the actual speed, the thing that makes you go really crazy and feel adrenaline curse trough you like hell! No not the stimulant, well actually... ...COME ON YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! (believe it or not, this is how he behaved when drunk 5 years ago, funny guy even when he is not trying to)

The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

In the WOOORLD...

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Deal with it

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

How many years are there in donkey years?

"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

Don't do that, tortoise!

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

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