This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

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Deal with it

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tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

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Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

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Das Stig is a manaic!

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Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

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The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

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On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

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car goes fast

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Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

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While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

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Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

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In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

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On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

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Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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