- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

Some Poos Come Out

On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

Clarksonisms

Our Updated iOS App!