Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

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BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

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This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

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Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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On the Citroën Berlingo: You can tell when a car firm is desperate to find things to say about their car, just look at the website: it has a laminated front windscreen, single front passenger seat, and manually adjustable door mirrors. So no electric mirrors, no alloy wheels. So it's a very good car so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail.

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

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The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

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Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

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Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze.

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This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

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Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

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Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

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When driving the Mercedes SLR McLaren through a tunnel “When they debate as to what the sound of the SLR engine was akin to, the British engineers from McLaren said it sounded like a Spitfire. But the German engineers from Mercedes said ‘Nein! Nein! Sounds like a Messerschmitt!’ They were both wrong. It sounds like the God of Thunder, gargling with nails.

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Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

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And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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