I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating N**i.

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Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

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The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

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[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

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M3 drivers have no friends.

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I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

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Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

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I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

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we wait with anticipation

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Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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Clarkson on Chrysler Crossfire- I have been trying to think -what it is that this shape reminds me of and last night it came to me- you know when a dog....doing its....aahh...number II, that kind of arched back thing .....thats what it is(with hand gestures and disgusted expression).....HIDEOUS!.....EWWWW!!

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Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide.

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Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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In the WOOORLD...

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

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