Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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Hold on to your spleens everyone!

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It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

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Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating N**i.

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[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

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Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

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(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

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Volkswagen Jetta "I’d love to meet the man who styled the exterior, to find out if he’d done it as some sort of a joke. But mostly I’d like to meet the man who simply didn’t bother at all with the interior. Because looking at that dashboard gives you some idea of what it might be like to be dead."

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...In the world.

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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When driving the Mercedes SLR McLaren through a tunnel “When they debate as to what the sound of the SLR engine was akin to, the British engineers from McLaren said it sounded like a Spitfire. But the German engineers from Mercedes said ‘Nein! Nein! Sounds like a Messerschmitt!’ They were both wrong. It sounds like the God of Thunder, gargling with nails.

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Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

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'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

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The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

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Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

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The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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