- Clarksonisms

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On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

Speed saves people!

Killing a mamooth

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

we wait with anticipation

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

Deal with it

Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

car goes fast

Clarksonisms

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