- Clarksonisms

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Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

M3 drivers have no friends.

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

POWER!!!!!!!!!!

Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

Clarksonisms

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