- Clarksonisms

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This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

POWER!!!!!!!!!!

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

Clarksonisms

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