- Clarksonisms

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On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

POWER!!!!!!!!!!

It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

Clarksonisms

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