- Clarksonisms

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

This is winnie the pooh with road rage

You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

Clarksonisms

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