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On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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Whatsapp Status

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When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

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Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

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On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

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Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

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Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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... And across the line!

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It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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car goes fast

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On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

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Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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