- Clarksonisms

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car goes fast

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" Audience laughs "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" audience gasps then applauds

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

Flying fish wasabi?

There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

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The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

Clarksonisms

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