Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

Announcing the Top Gear Awards in December 2005] “Now the best gas guzzler of the year. And the nominations are: the Range Rover Sport which achieved eight miles to the gallon; the Bugatti Veyron which achieved four miles to the gallon; and Hemel Hempstead. That actually used up 60 million gallons of fuel and didn’t move an inch.

The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

we wait with anticipation

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The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

In the WOOORLD...

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

Speed saves people!

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

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Kia Rio "You may have seen The Fly II, in which a scientist attempts to teleport a dog. In one of the most gruesome scenes I’ve seen in a film it arrives at its destination completely inside out. Well the Rio is uglier than that. Inside, things get worse. "Small wonder Kia’s importer in Britain is sponsoring the Pedestrian Association’s Walking Bus scheme. The idea is that parents take it in turns to walk a group, or "bus", of children to their school in a morning. After three days of being transported in the Rio, my kids thought it was a brilliant idea to walk instead. Even though their school is 18 miles away and it was blowing a gale directly from the Canadian tundra."

"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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