- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

Deal with it

This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

Clarksonisms

Our Updated iOS App!