Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

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On the TVR Tuscan 2 “You see, my wife loves this car. She loves the noise and the vibrations and the sense of danger and the way that when you over-rev it, the whole dash lights up like a baboon’s backside. Richard Hammond on the other hand, he pretty much hates it. He says it’s too difficult and too complicated and that all the stitching in here looks like the kind of stitching you find when someone’s tried to mend their own shoes.

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The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

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Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

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on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

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Some Poos Come Out

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

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Motorized pepper grinder?

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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Speed is the solution to everything, not that I have ever done it, I mean I love speed but, not the other thing, the actual speed, the thing that makes you go really crazy and feel adrenaline curse trough you like hell! No not the stimulant, well actually... ...COME ON YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! (believe it or not, this is how he behaved when drunk 5 years ago, funny guy even when he is not trying to)

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

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Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

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I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

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Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

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Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

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It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

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Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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