The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Perodua Kelisa 1.0 GXi "This is without doubt the worst car, not just in its category but in the world. It has a top speed of 88mph but takes so long to reach it that no one has ever lived long enough to verify the claim, the inside is tackier than Anthea Turner’s wedding and you don’t want to think what would happen if it bumped into a lamppost. "Also its name sounds like a disease."

thumb_up thumb_down +263

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" *Audience laughs* "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" *audience gasps then applauds*

thumb_up thumb_down +29

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

thumb_up thumb_down +68

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

thumb_up thumb_down +84

I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

thumb_up thumb_down +155

...In the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Speed is the solution to everything, not that I have ever done it, I mean I love speed but, not the other thing, the actual speed, the thing that makes you go really crazy and feel adrenaline curse trough you like hell! No not the stimulant, well actually... ...COME ON YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! (believe it or not, this is how he behaved when drunk 5 years ago, funny guy even when he is not trying to)

thumb_up thumb_down +48

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

thumb_up thumb_down +148

car goes fast

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

thumb_up thumb_down +49

That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

thumb_up thumb_down +109

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

thumb_up thumb_down +181

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

thumb_up thumb_down -4

the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

thumb_up thumb_down +106

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.