I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

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Don't do that, tortoise!

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

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Flying fish wasabi?

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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

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'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

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Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

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On the Ford GT40 “Was this the greatest hypercar of them all? Well, that’s a question I’ve never really been able to answer, because the GT40 is 40 inches tall... and I'm not.”

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

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Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

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LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

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It's like sitting on Dawn French!

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This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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