- Clarksonisms

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

Speed saves people!

On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

Motor from a food blender?

Clarksonisms

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