- Clarksonisms

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Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

On the Brabus SL: "A 1000 torques is what you'd use for... restarting a dead planet."

This is the greatest car ... In the world

This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

How many years are there in donkey years?

Clarksonisms

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