- Clarksonisms

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

On the Lotus Exige “To get an idea of just how spartan this thing is, you just have to look through the rear window. Back there you’ve got chicken wire, bacofoil and tupperware. It’s kind of like peering into one of your grannies’ old kitchen cabinets.”

[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

M3 drivers have no friends.

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

Clarksonisms

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