- Clarksonisms

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BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

Some Poos Come Out

On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to work from your house?" Clarkson: "76 miles..."

It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

Clarksonisms

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