"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

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[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

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I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

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Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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ze5zege ef ege gg

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Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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Don't do that, tortoise!

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Speed is the solution to everything, not that I have ever done it, I mean I love speed but, not the other thing, the actual speed, the thing that makes you go really crazy and feel adrenaline curse trough you like hell! No not the stimulant, well actually... ...COME ON YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! (believe it or not, this is how he behaved when drunk 5 years ago, funny guy even when he is not trying to)

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Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

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Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

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This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

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Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

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Hold on to your spleens everyone!

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In the WOOORLD...

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

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we wait with anticipation

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

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Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

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Assessing Hammond's crash: Clarkson: "you can see from the tape that the tyre is starting to come apart. Now why didn't you spot that?!" Hammond: "I had a lot on: I was doing 288 mph." Clarkson: "What do you mean you had a lot on? I can be in the office on the phone, doing the paperwork, kids are shouting at me, wife etc, but if a lion walks in, I'm going to notice it!"

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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