- Clarksonisms

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On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

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A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

M3 drivers have no friends.

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

POWER!!!!!!!!!!

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

Don't do that, tortoise!

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

Clarksonisms

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