[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

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How many years are there in donkey years?

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

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While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

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[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

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"How do I tell James to slow down?"

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Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

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I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

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That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

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Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide.

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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