- Clarksonisms

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you’ve seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

"How do I tell James to slow down?"

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

This is the greatest car ... In the world

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

Clarksonisms

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