Kia Rio "You may have seen The Fly II, in which a scientist attempts to teleport a dog. In one of the most gruesome scenes I’ve seen in a film it arrives at its destination completely inside out. Well the Rio is uglier than that. Inside, things get worse. "Small wonder Kia’s importer in Britain is sponsoring the Pedestrian Association’s Walking Bus scheme. The idea is that parents take it in turns to walk a group, or "bus", of children to their school in a morning. After three days of being transported in the Rio, my kids thought it was a brilliant idea to walk instead. Even though their school is 18 miles away and it was blowing a gale directly from the Canadian tundra."

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

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Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

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Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

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Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

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...In the world.

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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Cars cars cars.... heh. Written by: pirater un compte facebook

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That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

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On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

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On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

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You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

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It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

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On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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On oliver top gear car of the year 2007 - "I would rather eat my gentleman vegetables"

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There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

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On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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