I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

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Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

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When describing the Mazda Demio-"Yes I know it'll take you to the shops, but then so will a pogo stick!

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The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

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Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

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Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

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Flying fish wasabi?

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"I never really liked cars nor speed, so from this show and on forward, we are going to show you Japans top ten best poopie in the toilet cameras while we sit here and just fap!" *Audience laughs* "Yes, and we wont fap ourselves! In fact we will blow each other!" *audience gasps then applauds*

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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How hard can it be?

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Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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