- Clarksonisms

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The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

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Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

Motorized pepper grinder?

Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

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Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

Clarksonisms

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