The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

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ze5zege ef ege gg

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It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

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Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

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(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

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That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

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"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

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Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

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The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

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[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

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The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

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Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

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On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

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Speed saves people!

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Aston Martin Vanquish S "This is the last of the old-school Astons. It was built in the Newport Pagnell factory by men with body odour and hammers, rather than on the computer- controlled production line of the new Gaydon plant. And it shows. The car costs more than any other Aston yet is no quicker; its paddle shift gearbox is hilariously bad and its interior looks glued together from the Ford parts bin. It is the equivalent of opting for a rusty saw and leeches in the age of laser-guided brain surgery. Who is Aston kidding?

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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