- Clarksonisms

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[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

It stands out like

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

Deal with it

herro am spoderman

The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

Clarksonisms

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