I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

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And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

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Hold on to your spleens everyone!

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

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I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

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There are signs directing you away from Birmingham but nothing enticing you in.

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Clarkson on Chrysler Crossfire- I have been trying to think -what it is that this shape reminds me of and last night it came to me- you know when a dog....doing its....aahh...number II, that kind of arched back thing .....thats what it is(with hand gestures and disgusted expression).....HIDEOUS!.....EWWWW!!

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The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

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Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

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Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

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Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

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On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

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It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

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James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

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If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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