On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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Some Poos Come Out

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Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

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Whatsapp Status

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During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

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If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

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In the WOOORLD...

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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What did the black guy say to the brown guy we are both victims I racism

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

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Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

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It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

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Announcing the Top Gear Awards in December 2005] “Now the best gas guzzler of the year. And the nominations are: the Range Rover Sport which achieved eight miles to the gallon; the Bugatti Veyron which achieved four miles to the gallon; and Hemel Hempstead. That actually used up 60 million gallons of fuel and didn’t move an inch.

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Perodua Kelisa 1.0 GXi "This is without doubt the worst car, not just in its category but in the world. It has a top speed of 88mph but takes so long to reach it that no one has ever lived long enough to verify the claim, the inside is tackier than Anthea Turner’s wedding and you don’t want to think what would happen if it bumped into a lamppost. "Also its name sounds like a disease."

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On Detroit “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

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On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

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Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

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Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

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The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

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When driving the Mercedes SLR McLaren through a tunnel “When they debate as to what the sound of the SLR engine was akin to, the British engineers from McLaren said it sounded like a Spitfire. But the German engineers from Mercedes said ‘Nein! Nein! Sounds like a Messerschmitt!’ They were both wrong. It sounds like the God of Thunder, gargling with nails.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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