- Clarksonisms

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The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

Today Jeremy Clarkson Married a Lamborghini and move to Switz

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show… so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

Biathletes need to eat 6,000 calories a day: six thousand! That’s the equivalent of two pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 Twix bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

'Tinkering' with it, when you have a Lancia, is just another way of saying 'trying to make it start'. You go to a Lancia, turn the key and think, "Right, I better just 'tinker' with it and see if we can coax some life into the thing".

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

Killing a mamooth

This is winnie the pooh with road rage

Clarksonisms

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