I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

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Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

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On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

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Perodua Kelisa 1.0 GXi "This is without doubt the worst car, not just in its category but in the world. It has a top speed of 88mph but takes so long to reach it that no one has ever lived long enough to verify the claim, the inside is tackier than Anthea Turner’s wedding and you don’t want to think what would happen if it bumped into a lamppost. "Also its name sounds like a disease."

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There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

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on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

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Frederik Du lugter

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[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

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When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

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On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

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Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

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This is winnie the pooh with road rage

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If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

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Speed saves people!

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See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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... And across the line!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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