A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

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Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

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Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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On the Citroën Berlingo: You can tell when a car firm is desperate to find things to say about their car, just look at the website: it has a laminated front windscreen, single front passenger seat, and manually adjustable door mirrors. So no electric mirrors, no alloy wheels. So it's a very good car so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail.

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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

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This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

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Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

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A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

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On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

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(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

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Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

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This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

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Speed saves people!

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The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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