Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

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Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

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on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

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I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

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Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

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While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

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Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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Announcing the Top Gear Awards in December 2005] “Now the best gas guzzler of the year. And the nominations are: the Range Rover Sport which achieved eight miles to the gallon; the Bugatti Veyron which achieved four miles to the gallon; and Hemel Hempstead. That actually used up 60 million gallons of fuel and didn’t move an inch.

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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we wait with anticipation

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great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

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In the WOOORLD...

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"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

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Speed saves people!

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Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

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Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

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If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

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Motor from a food blender?

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[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

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A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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