- Clarksonisms

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[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

[Stretch Limos Challenge] - ... for some extraodinary reason the rules say you can't drive a 46-foot car on the public highway, so I had to do some surgery...

The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

I'm in the seat of a Ford Sierra Cosworth, holding a flamethrower. Can't get much happier than that.

tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

M3 drivers have no friends.

[On the Citroen Berlingo]: "It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail'

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

Clarksonisms

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