I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

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We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

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It stands out like

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I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

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This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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"I’m choosing the words for my conclusion with even more care than usual. So here goes. The 1-series is crap." BMW 1 Series

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The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

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[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

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On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

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I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

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Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

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In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

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Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

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Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

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What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

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On the TVR Tuscan 2 “You see, my wife loves this car. She loves the noise and the vibrations and the sense of danger and the way that when you over-rev it, the whole dash lights up like a baboon’s backside. Richard Hammond on the other hand, he pretty much hates it. He says it’s too difficult and too complicated and that all the stitching in here looks like the kind of stitching you find when someone’s tried to mend their own shoes.

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On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

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It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

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The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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