- Clarksonisms

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These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

This is the greatest car ... In the world

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

It's like sitting on Dawn French!

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

POWER!!!!!!!!!!

on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

On the TVR Tuscan 2 “It’s supposed to be easier to live with, and easier to drive... so has it worked? Ohh... Oh, my God. No... no... no, no, no. No. No. No, it hasn’t.”

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

It's like putting a furious weasel in your underpants!

Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

Clarksonisms

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