- Clarksonisms

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On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

On the Enzo Ferrari “Ferrari is so pleased with it they’ve named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That’d be the same as Lotus calling their next car... ‘The Colin.’”

On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car. It begins with 's' and ends with ‘t' and it isn't soot."

Claire chris paul steve & dave

Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany.

This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

In a list of the five most rubbish things in the world, I’d have America’s foreign policy at five. Aids at four. Iran’s nuclear programme at three. Gordon Brown at two and Maserati’s gearbox at number one. It is that bad.

I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

"And even supposing British cars were terrible, we wouldn't go about saying so. You don't see Jack Bauer saying 'Don't come to America, it's filled with terrorists'!"

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

Clarksonisms

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