- Clarksonisms

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As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

Today, Porsche brings ANOTHER 911 to an already confused world...

[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

"So having a twin turbo V12 diesel is like, turning your central heating off at home, and then keeping warm ... by burning Rembrandts." Audi Q7 V12 TDI

POWER!!!!!!!!!!

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

on Ferrari F430: "the basic price is about 118,000 pound, which is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money"

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

we wait with anticipation

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

Clarksonisms

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