The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

On the mclaren MP4-12C The first thing I would like to know is why they've named it after a fax machine.

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember that it weighs about the same... as a J-cloth.

On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.