A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

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(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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the fastest car IN THE WORLD!!

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On the BMW X5 M There's a gallon of fuel gone there, and another there...and yet another there. As a matter of fact, the only way this car could be less annoying to eco-mentalists is if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

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Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase. . .this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly. -driving the Audi R8

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

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On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

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The back of the BMW 6 series... it looks like a tramp's hat!

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

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How many years are there in donkey years?

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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herro am spoderman

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A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

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Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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