Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

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During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating N**i.

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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

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On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

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The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

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Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

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I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

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I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

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On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

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Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

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Cadillac SRX4 "This is a very ugly car. So ugly in fact that you’ll want to get inside it and shut the door as quickly as possible. But sadly when you are inside it’s even worse. "If it were a creature, it wouldn’t be a lion or a praying mantis or even a chimp. No, I think it would be a wasp — useless and hateful in equal measure"

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If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

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On the TVR Tuscan 2 “You see, my wife loves this car. She loves the noise and the vibrations and the sense of danger and the way that when you over-rev it, the whole dash lights up like a baboon’s backside. Richard Hammond on the other hand, he pretty much hates it. He says it’s too difficult and too complicated and that all the stitching in here looks like the kind of stitching you find when someone’s tried to mend their own shoes.

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That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

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Don't do that, tortoise!

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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