- Clarksonisms

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On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler.

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

car goes fast

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

Clarkson's highway code on cyclists: "Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong."

I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.

I'll tell you what. We'll try it my way first... and then we'll finish.

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

Clarksonisms

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