- Clarksonisms

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Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo

These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

James: I'm curious, Jeremy, what is it that you don't get about bikes? Jeremy: I just don't want to have to dress up like a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon.

Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

On the Alfa Romeo Brera “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

Clarksonisms

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