On the Crysler PT Cruiser: "The front looks like a face. A friendly face from the land that gave us friendly fire."

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I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

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This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

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I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

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Regarding driving a Reliant Robin: "What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

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This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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On paddle shift automatic gearboxes “The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!’”

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On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

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It costs Volkswagen £200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors for the Golf diesel. Kia could probably make a couple of cars for that.

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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Just because something is unreliable doesn't mean it isn't great. Take, for example, Stephen Hawking. Great man, but most of him doesn't work.

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Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

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This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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