This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

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On Segways "They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

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Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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On the Porsche Cayman S “There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.”

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POWER!!!!!!!!!!

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On the Vauxhall Astra VXR No, listen, listen, listen, you won't be at the party if you drive one of these because you'll have torque-steered into a tree on the way. And you'd be killed, and that's important to die in an anecdote...your children will say "daddy died in a fireball in a Vauxhall and a tree!"

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Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe... probably because they don't have wheel-chair access.

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Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

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I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

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Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

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While driving through a rural part of India: "MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! MONKEY MONKEY.... with MASSIVE testicles!!!!"

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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The Stig: Some say he was born in space, and that he is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

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we wait with anticipation

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great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

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In the WOOORLD...

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"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

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Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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