- Clarksonisms

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

M3 drivers have no friends.

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

[on his own driving test] - I didn't see it as a driving test so much as a confirmation of my excelence.

In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

I was driving this [Bentley Brooklands] on a sort of normal B road the other day, and it gave me some idea what it would be like to try and park the moon.

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

BMW 645Ci "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

This is winnie the pooh with road rage

Clarksonisms

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