- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and you think you are an onion, this is your car.

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

How many years are there in donkey years?

...In the world.

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

Clarksonisms

Our Updated iOS App!