And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

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Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

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Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

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'In Africa' Jeremy: And the Elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths. Richard: Thats a rubbish commentary.

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Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom.

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Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

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This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

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By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

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Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

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That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

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Deal with it

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Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

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Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

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Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

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herro am spoderman

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Clarkson on Chrysler Crossfire- I have been trying to think -what it is that this shape reminds me of and last night it came to me- you know when a dog....doing its....aahh...number II, that kind of arched back thing .....thats what it is(with hand gestures and disgusted expression).....HIDEOUS!.....EWWWW!!

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'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

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See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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