Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

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There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

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Frederik Du lugter

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When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven, I'll be there in a minute.

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On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

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Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

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This is winnie the pooh with road rage

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Speed saves people!

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See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

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What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

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... And across the line!

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

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"... And his miserable flat 6 is no match for this V8 tower of power!" Jeremy Clarkson on Audi R8 & Porsche Carrera 2

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On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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...In the world.

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On cars at a Max Power show "Most of these cars will do 0-60 once....and then they’ll blow up."

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[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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