- Clarksonisms

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[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

While discussing The Stig's tube leg of the race, on foot through london, "....or stig could be mistaken for a Brazillian plumber". Not very PC but very apt - and you are left in no doubt on his thoughts on the subject.

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

car goes fast

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

herro am spoderman

The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

It's perfect for short trips to the golf club. As a matter of fact, the [Mercedes CLS's] Satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations, and golf courses: everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.

Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

... And across the line!

On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

Clarksonisms

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