On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

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Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

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I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

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It stands out like

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The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

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tonight... we test drive... a fiat punto. a VW golf and adam burdass

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[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

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When discussing the suspension adjustability on the Bentley Continental GT. "It really is about as useful as having a snooze button on a smoke alarm".

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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So you’re not buying a Bristol for the number of gizmos or the way those that you do get are attached to the car. I carefully examined the front air splitter, for instance, and deduced that it must have been put there by a horse. No, really. As Sherlock Holmes himself advised: “When you have eliminated the impossible” — and it is impossible to imagine a human making such a hash of it — “then what remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.” So it was a horse.

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On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

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Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

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Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

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I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

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...In the world.

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It's like being tangled in a douvet on a hot night, I hate it!" Describibg one of the awful American pieces of tat on the good bad and the ugly dvd. Brilliant

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On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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