In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

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Air Conditioning systems in Lamborghini's of old was like a mouse, coughing on you. Acho. Acho. -Review of the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

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Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

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(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

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herro am spoderman

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On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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Some Poos Come Out

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A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

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When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

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Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

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we wait with anticipation

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This is the new Maserati 4x4. It's called the Kubang, which being a Maserati, probably also the sound it'll make when the warranty expires.

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

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Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

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Kia Rio "You may have seen The Fly II, in which a scientist attempts to teleport a dog. In one of the most gruesome scenes I’ve seen in a film it arrives at its destination completely inside out. Well the Rio is uglier than that. Inside, things get worse. "Small wonder Kia’s importer in Britain is sponsoring the Pedestrian Association’s Walking Bus scheme. The idea is that parents take it in turns to walk a group, or "bus", of children to their school in a morning. After three days of being transported in the Rio, my kids thought it was a brilliant idea to walk instead. Even though their school is 18 miles away and it was blowing a gale directly from the Canadian tundra."

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Now what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine. You get a little field mouse named Gerald.

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On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

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Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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