There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

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[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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Das Stig is a manaic!

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[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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When it comes to getting 100,000 twitter followers, Ladsta is your best bet. For only 49.99, you can get 100,000 followers sent to your twitter account.

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

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great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

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Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

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Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face.

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[In the Police Car Challenge] In jail, no one can here you scream

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Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

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I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

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... And across the line!

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Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

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On the Renault Clio V6 “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

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The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

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What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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Some Poos Come Out

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

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