Jeremy on their challenge when James was gonna be piloting a plane: "So it'll be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage!"

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Best to you with our ice cream van with a gun on top of it.

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Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

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great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

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It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

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This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

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Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

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On the Corvette Z06 “As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

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Yes, it's firm, but it's not uncomfortable. I mean compared to hanging from a bird's nest...by your fingernails...a million feet above some pointy boulders, for example.

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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This is the greatest car ... In the world

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Motorized pepper grinder?

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Motor from a food blender?

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LOTUS - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.

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[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

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ze5zege ef ege gg

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The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

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"How do I tell James to slow down?"

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What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

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On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

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On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

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The Ford Focus "It's like an Air Hostess wearing orange"

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

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