Peugeot 407 Coupé 2.7 V6 HDi SE "It has the zip of a chairlift. With plodding performance and steady-as-she-goes handling the only thing this car will make you feel like is a cup of Horlicks with a splash of hemlock. Empty-nesters should buy a PlayStation instead, and spend the afternoon shooting crack whores."

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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And, it's made in Britain! Which is another way of saying the door is going to fall off.

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(On the TukTuk) I think I have cancer now.

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The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

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As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

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Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

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I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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Motor from a food blender?

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"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

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We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

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Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald.

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

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"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

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If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

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These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

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This car was so exciting, I actually needed windscreen wipers on the inside

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Jeremy on the Pagani Zonda F Roadster: "This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat."

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On the Porsche Cayenne “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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