Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot.

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... And across the line!

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Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

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On the Mercedes SL Black: "there's no point even trying to turn. The steering wheel is useless, this thing has the turning circle of a full moon!"

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

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It sounds like a bear. A burning bear!

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On the McLaren P1: "And as you hurdle around in a puddle of your own feces, grinning like an infant, the car is working on ways to go even faster."

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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Some Poos Come Out

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Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

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A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

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"Still, if you want one [X5 M], get your nurse to find you a crayon and write out a check for seventy six thousand pounds...or if you don't understand how crayons work, you could spend even more on this rather ugly Audi."

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3 nominations on that award and David Coulthard finished 4th.

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So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

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Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

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It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

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And again, I'm the voice of reason and commen sence

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On A Lincoln Towncar. I can see him at home with his wife now. Dammit Myrdle! I can't figger out a way to make this wheel square! I got me square dials, I got me a square dash, I got me a square body. But the wheel! it's circular! Ruins the whole KAWR!

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

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Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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