The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

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what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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Speed saves people!

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On the BMW x5 h&m The result is like putting a furious weasel in your underpants

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Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

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"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

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on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

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When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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Where do I like to watch my car videos? You guessed it. CarVideos site

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Land Rover Defender 90 Td5 Station Wagon "Often fourth isn’t enough to get you up a hill, so you drop down to third and it feels as though you’ve been hit in the back with a wrecking ball. All of a sudden you’re doing 35mph but your eight-ton suit of armour, making a noise that sounds like the birth of the universe, has come to an almost dead stop. "What’s more, there still isn’t enough room behind the wheel for anyone with shoulders or legs, there are still sharp edges, it’s as bouncy as a small dog at suppertime, and as a result it’s about as much fun to drive as a punctured wheelbarrow. And it’s not like the misery is short-lived, because each trip to the shops can, and does, take two or three weeks."

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It stands out like

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The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

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As useful as a snooze alarm on a smoke detector

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A man walked into a bar May he rest in peace

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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Don't do that, tortoise!

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I AM CLARK! WELCOME TO DIE X-CHICKEN! MORAL: WHEN IT SAYS MORAL, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST NOT GIVE ME THUMBS UPS! I WONT LET YOU BREAK MY UBER MORAL SHIELD!

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Motor from a food blender?

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It has dials the size of a fat spaniels face.

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On the Porsche Boxster “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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