- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

Am i the only one here who doesnt know what a clarksonism is?

You cannot have this car with a diesel. It's like saying, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman!

"Only the americans would invent a car polish you can eat."

People think my picture of me on horsehead network is me going really fast, good thing they don't know I am actually blowing a huge invisible black guy.

This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying ‘Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.'

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

Q:what's the difference between a blonde and a u.f.o A:people seen u.f.o s

How many years are there in donkey years?

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

car goes fast

Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer.

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

Clarksonisms

Our Updated iOS App!