- Clarksonisms

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The engine sounds like a Spitfire fighter plane

Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.

On the Alfa Romeo 8C "as Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'there is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'. And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at keira Knightley. She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works."

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

"Now, Rich, would you like some pussy? (...) PUSSY, energy drink"

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

And after a riged phone vote , The Stig has a new name. He called Cuddles

On the Koenigsegg CCX “I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!”

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

Converting a racing car into a street car is like watching porn with all the good bits cut out... all you end up watching is a close up of some sweaty bloke bobbing his head for half an hour.

I don't like being overtaken. It's a sign of weakness.

most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

Clarksonisms

Our Updated iOS App!