What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

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It's as reliable and long lasting as a pensioners erection.

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[On Hammond's Dolomite Sprint] My washing machine moves around the kitchen faster than that!

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On British Leyland: "Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been done, so badly, by so many."

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

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Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide.

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(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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This is the same colour as a prosthetic limb!!

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Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

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(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

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Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

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POOOOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

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On the Chrysler Crossfire: "This is the worst thing that's come out of Germans and Americans working together since a fellow named Adolphus Busch arrived in America, tasted the water, and said "yeah, I could make beer out of this." And we were given that headache in a can - Budweiser."

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This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

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The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

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What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

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"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

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I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

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I believe in speed - power... power and speed solve many things!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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