- Clarksonisms

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While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

Killing a mamooth

Das Stig is a manaic!

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

Hold on to your spleens everyone!

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

Because of the French the concept if a car doesn't exist anymore

So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

How many years are there in donkey years?

(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ) That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

See the problem was that the Lotus Sunbeam exploded every time it was Tuesday...

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

Frederik Du lugter

The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

In German accent about Mercedes SATNAV "You must turn around und do it again, make und U-Turn!!!"

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

Clarksonisms

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