What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

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Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

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How many years are there in donkey years?

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Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

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Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

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On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

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Some Poos Come Out

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Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

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"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

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Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

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Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

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On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

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Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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