We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

Killing a mamooth

on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

Some Poos Come Out

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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