This is what scares me. It's called the Trojan and because it's part tank, part bulldozer, it's the king of...wherever it damn well wants to go.

[FSO Polenez] It's less reliable than a pensioner's erection.

That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

Talking to Hammond along with James: Same Time: "YOUR AN AMERICAN HAMMOND, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH."

Some sa that he's wanted by the CIA, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is... he's NOT the Stig, but he is Barack Obama... No wait, the Stig's AMERICAN COUSIN!

Some Poos Come Out

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

This [Ferrari F60 Enzo] isn't just uncool, it's seriously uncool. Think of it this way, if you walk into the bathroom and see a man standing suspiciously close to the urinal, he probably owns one of them.

on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

In the WOOORLD...

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

Speed is the solution to everything, not that I have ever done it, I mean I love speed but, not the other thing, the actual speed, the thing that makes you go really crazy and feel adrenaline curse trough you like hell! No not the stimulant, well actually... ...COME ON YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! (believe it or not, this is how he behaved when drunk 5 years ago, funny guy even when he is not trying to)

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

The Amphibian Car Challenge "Which would come first, summer or James May?"

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

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