- Clarksonisms

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this is the best clarksonism....in the woooorld

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

It's like sitting on Dawn French!

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

Why did the pharaoh go to Dairy Queen? He was thirsty

(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

What's significant about San Francisco? Nothing really, just gay people.

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

Clarksonisms

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