I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

[Top Gear Awards]: Now it's time for the ugliest car of the year and the nominees... - actually there's no point is there, it's the Mini Clubman. That's the ugliest.

-On the Morgan Aero 8 Clarkson: You spent money on that? Hammond: Yeah. why not? Clarkson: Thats like saying 'Well, I've had marriage proposals from Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Natalie Portman, but no, I'm going to marry John McCrirrick'

ze5zege ef ege gg

By the end of the night, I was hoping to be in a rather different kind of hedge, but there you go

What's worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

In Bolivia when a bridge had to be built Clarkson (firing up a chainsaw): I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE Hammond: He's got a chainsaw, hasn't he? Clarkson: OH YES! Hammond: Oh God.

Old jags are like living inside James May but this one is like living inside James Kirk

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

Driving a 1M As if somebody suddenly gave you the permission to set fire to Piers Morgan.

...In the world.

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

[Alfa Romeo Brera] I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather, and I'm nursing a semi.

tonight, james wears jack sanders like a hat, richard wears jack sanders like a hat, and i wear jack sanders like a hat

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

The M3 CSL is going to be bought by the type of person who lies in bed at night thinking of his gearshift aggression strategy for his drive to work the next morning.

Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide,Power Slide.

That Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

(Referring to the Morris Marina) "The unpleasant log laid by British Leyland after communism crept like an itchy red blanket over the shop floor."

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.