- Clarksonisms

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(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car) " I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

Describing the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder's sound: It's like listening to the Cirque Du Soleil being chopped up by their own chainsaws.

Tonight.. Leon finds a bin, Jack sanders takes over the bin, And James may, eats the bin.

It's like God having really unusual sex. (On the sound of the Ferrari 430 Scuderia)

Man interviewing clarkson and hammond: What's your carbon footprint like? Clarkson: We dont have a carbon footprint we drive everywhere.

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

...In the world.

I love the feel of some hairy, salty balls on my chin. Mmmmm!

What's the point of having the fastest car in the world, if its brakes always keep breaking down?

[£100 car challenge] Hammond: I've managed to procure an x-ray of Jeremy's hand and it's 5 points off for a broken bone remember; look at the thumb, it's broken! Jeremy: It isn't Richard:It is, you broke your thumb! Jeremy: ...it's chipped.

The old Aston Martin DB7 was just a Jag in drag. It was an XJ-S in a party frock. This (the Aston-Martin DB-9) is completely different.

I don't always play guitar, but when I do, I'm awesome.

I don't know why we became clarksonisms, Think your fancy HUH.

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

I WONDER WHAT HAPPEN’S WHEN DOCTOR’S WIFE EATS AN APPLE A DAY. Source: Pingzic collection of WhatsApp Status

Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

Nope, Moral Man the people`s champion does not know either... Moral: Now and forever, I am Moral Man.

'Jean Alesi - who I used to hero worship - is now playing with my genitals.'

On the Porsche Cayenne: "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

On James May: "He also hasn't got a penis cause it came off once."

You know what's funny? The Joke below this one.

I'll tell you what, Richard. You go around our track on your Hayabusa at top speed and I'll chain smoke and we'll see who dies first.

Clarksonisms

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