It's really sad that you can now buy Hummer aftershave. It comes in a jerry can of repressed homosexuality; you slosh it over your face yelling "I'M NOT GAY!"

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When you buy a Honda, well, your stuck with a Honda.

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So the Porsche Cayman is a Boxster with a roof. They should have called it the Cockster.

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Speed has never killed anyone - suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. - SMC Digital

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If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

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It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

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most of you will think that showing up in cars like these in romania is like going to somalia with a suit made out of food...

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This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

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On the Lancia Stratos: I'm going to change gear now; this is going to involve man-touching.

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This is the thing you have to remember, Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.

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Speed is the solution to everything, not that I have ever done it, I mean I love speed but, not the other thing, the actual speed, the thing that makes you go really crazy and feel adrenaline curse trough you like hell! No not the stimulant, well actually... ...COME ON YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! (believe it or not, this is how he behaved when drunk 5 years ago, funny guy even when he is not trying to)

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Whatsapp Status

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Clarkson in a magazine, Take the Koala for instance, It spends half its life off its face on dope and the moment it gets scared it catches chlamydia

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Look at this fellow, he wants to bitch slap his hoe. Why not? Good luck to you fellow.

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We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

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[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

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On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

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Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

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If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

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great news I got this Minecraft Upgrade Code absolutely free! Check this site out http://mc.cardcodes.net

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Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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