If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

It's not a torch! It's a RAMPANT RABBIT!!

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

How many years are there in donkey years?

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.