How many years are there in donkey years?

During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

Every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them. Frankly I'd rather blow-torch my nipples off.

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

Some Poos Come Out

Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.