Hammond: "The premiums for 17 year old girls are around half what they are for 17 year old boys" Clarkson: "Well there's a Top Gear top tip right there! If you're a 17 year old and you need car insurance, slice your penis off."

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How many years are there in donkey years?

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"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

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Clarkson on saving money How's this for an idea?...never brake

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

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Some Poos Come Out

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Scientists are trying 2… . figure out how long… . a person can live … . without brain… . . . Please tell them ur age!!! Hindi TV Shows

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During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

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Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

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On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

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what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

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[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

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Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

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On the Ferrari 599 GTO: SPEEEEED, SPEEEED, and the noise of the SPEED!!!

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Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

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I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

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Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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