Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

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On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

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Some Poos Come Out

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During the color-mixing for the elderly-friendly Fiat (Multipla) Rover James: "So you can make any color we want? Can you do my left nipple?"

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If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

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On Gallardo Spyder "I am in love!"

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Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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How many years are there in donkey years?

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Hating jewd isn't rascist, it's actually called being anti-semetist

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During the Bugatti vs airplane trip "I will not be beaten by Captain Slow's flying washing machine!"

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"Lancia did have some issues; for example, the Gamma exploded every time you turned the steering wheel"

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On the Vauxhall vectra: it's a cure for ADD, any child with would fall asleep in 3 minutes flat

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

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Richard, you're the type of person I could show a picture of Paris Hilton, and you would say "But what if she turned out to be intelligent?"

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WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

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What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

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On The Stig: Some say that he was a science experiment gone wrong and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, he's called the stig!

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On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

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Grips good, if you want to win a race, grip is brilliant. BUT for drifting.. for having FUN.. grip is BAD!

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"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

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[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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