Could you really get children to work in a factory? Becouse that would be brilliant!

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I'd have [striking workers] shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

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Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

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[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

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...The wheel arches are flared, the car is slightly lowered, and at the back there are extra poo shoots

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[On the Clio V6]: It had the worst turning circle in the world - you had to actually go round the world to actually turn it round.

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Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

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A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

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What's worse then stubbing your toe? Finding out one of your loved ones died.

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on the Peugeot 206 gti the temperature was nudging 75 F and i was headed for London in the 206. After half a mile i was suspicious, after a mile i was angry. it may have an air conditioning button but it sure as hell doesn't have air conditioning. The Rolls-Royce system works with the power of 30 domestic refrigerators. Peugeot's works with the power of an asthmatic in Bangladesh blowing at you through a straw.

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Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

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Killing a mamooth

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Claire chris paul steve & dave

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Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

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Doesn't matter if it's Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage or Painus in your anus!

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The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

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on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

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On the McLaren P1: "This car is about as well equipped as a pair of Monk's underpants."

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poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

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I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

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I do not understand why some people refer to their cars as "She" , lovingly. You never screw your car.

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Das Stig is a manaic!

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The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

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In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

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