Pintos are like virgin girls. You hit one in the rear and BOOM!

thumb_up thumb_down -42

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

thumb_up thumb_down +83

Are there any Spanish people here today? Yes? GIVE ME MY FISH BACK!

thumb_up thumb_down +39

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

thumb_up thumb_down -25

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

thumb_up thumb_down -65

what`s the difference of a blonde and a ufo people have ufos

thumb_up thumb_down -53

poopoopoopoopoopoopoop

thumb_up thumb_down -62

on the porsche 911 this is ridiculous , me liking this is like gordon brown going to the polling booth and saying " do you know what i think im going to vote tory "..... maybe he did

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I agree the price is a bit steep, it's perilously close to the Ferrari 599, but honestly, you cannot buy a DB9 anymore; you just can't do it.  Because one day, you will be sitting at a set of lights, someone will pull up alongside in one of these and you will feel hopeless and inadequate, and you will have to kill yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

On the porsche GT2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that concludes my roadroad test of the GT2.

thumb_up thumb_down +99

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +76

The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

On the Ferrari Enzo: MOMMY!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +101

Shut up with all your terrible banter!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

thumb_up thumb_down +80

Das Stig is a manaic!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A Hummer; You need 280574965897831756791492756237859087683472390645839057644382457684385739248759320842013878742178347658375843921764 gallons of gas to get out of the garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

thumb_up thumb_down +65

WHAT A MACHINE!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Bentley, Feawr Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, In Bentley No One Can Hear You Scream (In American Movie Trailer Voice)

thumb_up thumb_down

These newer supercars are much kinder to the environment as well. For example, this one here: the only thing coming out of its tailpipes are baby foxes.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson's quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts...

When you're done here, check out our car fail site!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.