- Clarksonisms

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In the olden days, Ferrari used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. Then, on lap 3 as often as not, they would explode into a passionate and enthusiastic fireball. Since then, they've started building their racing cars with with science and math...

If you've got a better route map from the AA website, why don't you write to us at 'I asked the AA for a route to King's Lynn and now I'm on the International Space Station', Top Gear, London

"I mean let's be honest about the Bently, it's simply a Volkswagen with some wood grain."

Now that we have power steering, all you have to do [to race] is lie down, turn the wheel, and if you want to win all you have to do is go a little bit faster than all the others.

This [Maserati Quattroporte GTS] is like having a 3-year old child. It's really annoying most of the time, but if someone tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them for it.

(Upon seeing a gentleman with shoulder-length hair in the audience): "Jesus is here!"

What's the difference beetween a washing machine and a dead body. I dont have a washing machine in my basement...

The BMW X5 M "... And I don't know about you, but I find this interior ... rather boring. Apart from that obviously, the torque thing. It's like sitting in someone's ear."

Okay, engines for the Alfa Romeo Brera: 2.2 liters, 3.2 v6, and you can have a diesel if you're the type of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

While playing the video game Gran Turismo "Aston Martin DB9 – that’s not a racecar, that’s pornography."

In resent weeks a craving for nicotine has made me angry with everything, even trees.

We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it.

Who ever said Leon Austin is a tramp.. He's not a tramp.. he's just a homeless person living on the streets. Me personally, i think they're different things.

Now, what you get under the bonnet of this car is not an engine, but a little field mouse named Gerald, and considering its price, your better off literally eating seventeen and a half thousand pounds. Of gravel. -Jezza on the ford focus se

"Now, Rich, would you like some pu-sy? (...) Pu-sy, energy drink"

Can you ever love a machine? Of course you can. John Connor did. And I love the LFA.

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and his crash helmet is modeled off of Britney Spears' head... All we know is he's called the Stig!

on the corvette: So if you want a car with vietnamese suspension that is made out of plastic, this is the car for you!

Clarkson watching someone drive a lada and being offered to ride one. "Its are raping him! And then its going to rape me!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

Listen to this chap. He wants to "bitch slap his hoe" why not. Good luck to ya fella

Jeremy reading the safety labels on a Dodge Viper: This one is my favorite. "The top supports behind the seats are not a roll bar. This is an open vehicle--drive carefully..." No.

I'm not Just the Iron In Yard, I'm a Member

[On the Aston Martin DBS]: "I especially like the gear lever, which is like a Power Ranger's leg"

The only way to stop faster..is to hit a tree.

Clarksonisms

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